You know all those times in Twilight when Bella looks at Edward’s face and thinks it’s unreadable? Well, now it’s readable. And I’m stuck in the mind of a psychopath. And everything is horrible.
Let’s first ignore all the problematic aspects of this book. They were in Twilight and people raged about it and Stephanie Meyer just decided to write another book about it. Let’s first just talk about the book itself.
When I read this book, I didn’t realize that it’s 700 freaking pages because I was reading it digitally (in full disclosure I used a free online copy because Stephanie Meyer doesn’t deserve any more money). After I spent 4 days dying over it, I realized that a) I really need to check how many pages a book is before starting it, b) I just wasted 4 OF MY FREEST DAYS IN THE ENTIRE SUMMER VACATION ON THIS PIECE OF SHIT, and c) Edward is the most horrible narrator of all time.
Let me explain to you why. A conversation that happened in 3 lines in Twilight could be 5 pages in Midnight Sun. Because Edward will explain every single thought that passes through his mind in excruciating detail, guess at every single thought that passes through Bella’s mind as part of his ongoing game of figuring out Bella’s personality by stalking her, and then describe the thoughts of every other person in the room because he has mind reading abilities. I swear I read more about Bella’s thoughts in this book than in the book narrated by her. There were like 7 pages devoted to Edward asking her about every minute detail of her personality. And guess what, I just don’t care guys!! I’d give you an example, but I don’t have the mental strength required to go back to the book and find one.
There’s also the fact that Edwards contributes nothing to the story. Half the book is him repeating every conversation that already happened in Twilight. The conversations don’t even make sense in the new context. In one of the most “dramatic” scenes in the book, Edward took Bella to that clearing and took off his shirt, and transformed into Mr. Sparkles (Stephanie Meyer made it sound like some grotesque deformity, but it’s literally just someone sparkling like a diamond. It looks stupid, that’s it). He had his whole melodramatic pondering on how monstrous he is and how he can never be with his one true love because he wants to eat her all the time.
Then he gave that monologue about how vampires are terrifying, superior predators and tried to scare Bella off. Why would he do that? When I read that monologue in Twilight, I thought he sounded like a wild maniac. Why would he go all insane when he was so worried about Bella running away from him? He was being emo and overthinking everything, then gave a speech that just didn’t match. But maybe I just don’t understand because I skimmed through that entire section since it’s so goddamn boring.
Can we also talk about how emo this man is? He’s supposedly over a hundred years old, but he sounds like a moody teenager going through puberty. (Edit: I realize that Stephanie Meyer apparently meant for vampires to not age mentally after they’re turned, but that’s just sus and makes Edward even less appealing. Who wants to live with a hormonal teenager for their entire life?)
In Twilight he had the air of a mysterious bad boy. Here he’s just a melodramatic child throwing temper tantrums. The plot of this book is basically Edward thinking self-deprecating thoughts about how he’s a horrible monster (this is probably the only thing he’s not wrong about), warning Bella to stay away from him, and Bella being an idiot and staying. It happened a billion times. I’m so sick of this. I have lost all hope in humanity.
What made it worse is that Edward is also whiny and horrible to his family. He willingly betrays them and prioritizes Bella when he’s known her for a week. Rosalie (Edward’s sister) is supposed to be a shallow, self-centered, and terrible person in this book. You know there’s something wrong when I completely understand why she’s so mad and she’s probably the character I relate to the most. Edward repeatedly reveals family secrets, skips plans he made, puts his family at risk, and thinks about committing violence toward the people he spent decades with just to go watch Bella sleep.
And Edward’s somehow feminist now? He’s gone all Rhysand and it’s totally your choice Bella! Me sneaking into your room and watching you while you sleep is totally your choice! Me jerking you back when you try to walk away from me is totally your choice! Me staring at you while you’re at school from a bush and listening to every conversation you have from other people’s minds is totally your choice! But then I guess Bella doesn’t mind any of those things. They are truly a match made in hell.
You know after reading this, I have a hypothesis about why Edward couldn’t hear Bella’s thoughts. Because Bella has no thoughts. Her brain is just empty. No thoughts, not even vibes.
After all of this horribleness, the one thing I will say about Stephanie Meyer is that she has truly incorporated every stereotype about women into her books. I mean, that’s really impressive. So many stereotypes! Such a wide range! Let’s give her a round of applause guys! Bella is the shy, nerdy, not-like-the-other-girls girl. She doesn’t like to go out and party and shop for clothes! She just wants to stay home and read and have wet dreams! Edward literally talks about how different and how much of a special snowflake she is. Alice is the manic pixie dream girl. Rosalie is the dumb blonde who’s gorgeous but shallow and stupid (because of course all pretty girls have no brains). Esme is the kind, generous, caring mother. Jessica is the catty competitive girl who is fake and jealous because of how many boys like Bella. See guys, Meyer is so talented. She used ALL the stereotypes.
I don’t even want to talk about Bella and Edward’s codependency (neither of them has any personality without the other one and will literally die without them), how Stephanie Meyer made all the girls in Bella’s school into bitches to give Bella some shred of decency, how she appropriated an entire Native American tribe, played into stereotypes, and allegedly didn’t give them any compensation despite the fact that they really need it, and how manipulative a relationship between someone over 100 and someone who is 17 and has never had a relationship before is (saying that in some ways you’re still 17 doesn’t justify anything, Edward).
That’s it. I’m going to go scream into my pillow and cry now.
Author: Angela Zhang
